Mar 12, 2014

One like = One stupid

Hey you internet person, I heard that you're going to the Tomorrowland festival in Belgium that costs $250, not to mention gets sold out in a few days but of course you serendipitously landed a free ticket from clicking a link on facebook with 253722 other people. That should be fun! Have you decided what you'd wear to the gig? Perhaps, the Zara dress you bought off that $50 voucher which they magnanimously gave you for sharing that link that never opened. So all's set then! I would do well to advise you at this point to climb on top of the shoulder of a fellow reveller yeti to get a great view of the stage area.
How about flights? Right, the crowd-sourced travel-funding-for-a-cause site whatsitname will sponsor that, of course!
"Ardant facebook would like to attend a world famous EDM festival" Now that's a worthy cause an invisible person and a complete stranger from another end of the globe would be compelled to put his hard-earned into funding!
Probably having a terminally ill disease would've made for an even better cause but then what's that a few likes cannot solve? That kid with a rare heart disease is already going surfboarding and cycling around the world because you liked the picture! Yes, YOU, of the contributor of a mighty like born out of a selfless direction of the click towards a thumbs up sign on a social networking site. Oh, that selfless mother in Japan who died trying to save her 4feet long infant from being trampled over in the aftermath of an earthquake and also managing to text him a nice long emotional SMS in the middle of dying, got nothing on you or Indian mothers, proud as we are of their sacrifices and heroisms!

A mention of India gets me proud of Incredible India and at this point I want to rise and break out into the National Anthem because after all our National Anthem has been voted the Best National Anthem in the world by the UN. What do you mean the UN cannot take some time off its busy schedule of saving war-torn countries and malnourished children of Somalia to judge a few national anthems? Ours is particularly melodic, I must concede. India no doubt is a country of colours, sounds, diversity and of festive brilliance, whose charms, even the NASA could not resist when they set up a special mission to shoot that picture of India during Diwali because the range of the fireworks that go bust in under 12 seconds make their way into the stratosphere for long enough and at the same time to provide the perfect picture. Particularly impressed by NASA's savvy with the social media, what with them having finally started releasing, nay, sharing pictures that have the potential to go viral. I think they should open an instagram account for an ever better reach, as going just beyond the earth is kind of passe.

Oh instagram reminds me, at this point i'm mighty jealous of you! You're living the life, ain't you? I mean you had 5 lattes at starbucks, (pity about them getting your name wrong, life sucks :/) , two amazingly-awesome steaks at the Smoke House Deli and a lemonade that matched your new #rayban #branded #love #new #awesome #shades. Surely you've been running a start-up or landed a great job that completely aligns with your skills and interests or congrats have you finally been selected to be do one of those brilliant, "Make $15000/day sitting at home" gigs? The last time I did it, I just felt it was too much money to handle and I gave it up. I know I could have bought twitter followers for some, but then the humble person in me just wants to be more real. So i just went ahead and put up a DP of myself...I mean my blonde, 36DD, bombshell version but hey I have 10,000,000 followers now! lol and to think some people actually do some research into putting out good content out there to get a place on the internet. Not everyone could be axing their own head, while someone stands there, recording the whole thing to put it out on facebook now, can they?
Well, anyway, I gtg. Things have to be liked, retweeted and shared.
You don't turn a super-successful & helpful person just by editing wikipedia, employing wit & humour or writing crap blogposts such as this one, y'know.


Epilogue: This post is a satirical attempt to bring to the fore the extent of gullibility to which some people are given to and believe things without thinking twice or applying reason or logic. Rushdie said "Most of what matters in our lives, happens in our absence". This post could be true of the internet where things are manufactured, exaggerated and quoted out of context and more people believe them, share them and form opinions on them than the people who actually see through the gaps.
The internet could be amazing for information and research from genuine people but it also is infested with faceless, anonymous people behind a screen churning out things to get clicks, share links, and other things that would put SEO geniuses to shame. Not to mention extract your personal data with your own very consent.
So do your research, employ common sense or just think "what's in it for them?". If it's too good to be true, it probably is not true.

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