Showing posts with label irony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label irony. Show all posts

Oct 1, 2009

Career , education and other oxymorons...

I have just realized- more like calculated over the months that I have (I here, includes only obligatory funding of my dad, Mom,brother, Bank,Concessions etc) spent close to a Million INR ( ah feels so good to say million!) in a 16+year education so far - the chunk of it being my prestigious BBM from CMS- " India's only undergraduate Bschool "- and that's excluding all the trips, the Coffees, Accessories, gadgets, n other sundries that are demanded of you to be a part of a sound and successful education system)

and where am i right now?
Typing away on a laptop that i did not BUY. Checking sms on an iphone that's someone else's 2months' salary .and from a house i can afford to live in on my own any soon. Fresh after a brief PR job (Like 10day brief) , a dream advertising job ( yeah cos I had an imaginary, dreamy pay) ) and a constant mental war between the option of working or studying further. ( i hope we'll have a winner soon)


well i dunno about the profile of that record-breaking IIM grad that's secured a 87 lacs paycheque (was he like the only employee in a medium-sized Indian company?) even before passing out. Just for the heck of it. i feel like saying it. " what did heeeeeeee have that i dont !!! :( umm an IIM-A degree? oh yeah. minor detail.and Talking of entrance tests- CAT,XAT,SAT,FAT,IBSAT,RAT,VAT,BAT,KITKAT, ....AT! will set you back by another 15-20grand, 40 if u count GMAT and the preceding preparation classes !)

you know, Frankly I'd settle for an MA in maybe gift-wrapping or candle-making any day but you know parents and the usual " Beta, Girls should be MBA to secure a good guy". guy?? excuse me? is that the new word for self-respect??

So in case I do manage to land a half-decent institute here in India or take the easy way 'out' ( of India) and get into say a Leeds or a cardiff , draining out an avg 1.5 million more next year( there!) getting more educated, cramming more income tax, more Organization Behaviour, Toyota's TQM principles that i will not remember an iota of post-exams.

Will the jobs scene still be the same? My mailbox will still be flooded with most articulately titled mails like " WE have excellent job opportunity in one of Top MNC. looking for a MBA candidate" filled with terms that will have connotations of their own.

For example.


Business Development Executive- We have no existing business whatsoever . we're hiring you to get us some. Is joining from umm , 5 minutes from now work for you?

International work environment- You'll be making 250 calls a day to a tom, dick, and harry in the US of A, solving their queries on mixers at 25bucks an hour. ( bucks= Indian rupees)

Multitasker -basically we have no hierarchy. no defined job role whatsoever. You'll never know where you fit. You will be doing pretty much everything. from getting clients to selling business to making tea and on occasion fixing the tea-machine.

Process Associate- fancy term for Call Centre Employee

International Business Support- Team Member- Fancy term for Call Centre Employee

Dynamic work environment - You might be given the pink slip anyway. or read about the company's closing down on your way to office.

two-wheeler MUST- you'll be hopping from home-to-home, retailer-to-retailer- stall to-stall selling our products to them. come rain, shine, puncture.

Travel Allowance- we'll sponsor your annual BMTC pass or considering your activa gives a mileage of 30. and you're doing 25 kms everyday. we'll give you , err compensation for 25kms done in 30mileage-X rs ( sorry you do the math! told ya!)


Only Graduates- Yeah we don't care if you have particularly impressive vocab, done speeches at an international platform, are really cool socially or carry yourself well enough to clinch a deal.

Pleasing personality- Should be Aishwarya-lookalike. or Ramya even .


Good communication skill- must be able to say " We have an excellent Business Proposition for you' without slurring.

Ooh, As i write this I just came to know the CAT deadline's extended by 8more days.
damn and i thought the competition was easier this time! I think I've decided that I'd rather work than be one in a million in the rat race of the CAT. ( how ironic)