Like after the darkest nights, comes the brightest mornings ( Never confirmed that one), today's one of those uber-lonesome days after the most social & people-heavy saturday and friday and the week before that....the kind of days when you're surrounded by people , and then some.....
But today is one of those days when you spend an entire day within the confines of your home, having nothing to do, or not having enough inclination to do anything that you might have had to do...You don't go to meet anyone...Noone comes to meet you....You dont make or get any calls...A day perfectly capable of turning you into a decaying snob, capable of turning a rare-smoker , fume away to glory in solitude reflecting on life and its meaning...
and what was the result of this deep introspection-filled day?
Well for one, I thought about 'friendship' and what it means in today's high-pressure world when one slogs for over 12 hours a day to make a living and in a city away from home, where your 'friends' are your family....does friendship mean having people to go out for a drink with to de-stress after the above-mentioned week? Does friendship mean having people to party with ? or does friendship mean having multiple facebook albums full of "fun-looking' pictures of you and your friends...?
Now I don't know....I have friends... Many...or at least i'd like to call them friends here in this new city....But sometimes I wonder if we are friends of the most 'social' level....The kinds I mentioned in the first para of this post...You party with them, share drinks, smokes and hugs and much bonhomie with them, mainly over the weekend and they're an essential part of your social life....but beyond that? Do you know what kind of a person they are? What's their favourite ice-cream? What is their background story?
Could you call them at any point of the say, or week , even if it's not a weekend and just meet them whenever you felt like seeing them , seeing a friend or do you have to wait till the weekend till a social setting throws you in the same place as them?
I've found myself connecting with many people over the last couple of years during my stay in Hyderabad ( a new city) and if i could, i could really slot my 'friends' into these broad categories :
1) The social friends : The friends with whom I attend the common parties and events. Who are an essential part of my social life. These friends are to be found in the facebook albums. We look like we really are thick. Some of us are. But the others not so much. Probably met them the very same evening. Probably will never see some of them ever again.
2) The guy friends with a past : These are the guys you began to gel well with and connected on many levels, but more on a physical/romantic level and now thanks to a past between us that never culminated into a relationship or one that didnt work, but nonetheless got along too well to stop being friends altogether, we continue to be friends , albeit in a very " would-it-be-awkward-if-we-met-alone" way?
3) The work mates- Now these are specific to office. I meet them at Lunch/coffee at work , share a whole lot of work talk and also fun times with , but at the end of the day, we're really competitors, running in the same rat race and post work we mostly go our separate ways....To see each other at work again..
4) The flatmates: Now these are a special kind of friends. You dont know them from before yet you live with them, hopefully like family. They are the people who've seen you at your slobbiest best and know all your inside 'dirty' secrets, if any. And if your flatmate is also your colleague, you probably see them more than any other kind of friends. This kind of friendship can be extremely close, warm but strained at times , as a professional relationship that's expected to exist between flatmates, as it involves some domestic/financial implications, ( expense splits/ownership of responsibilities), and sometimes makes you want to have other friends.
5) The 'facebook' friends- No i don't meant all your friends on facebook. That includes even the other categories and family but I mean those random friends , you just have on your list, not sure why. We all have them. We know them, most of them. I have 750 odd 'friends' in my list as of now , ( includes the kinds that were busy adding you as a 'friend' on their phone while you were still introducing yourself!).I'm not sure how I know some of them, or when i last saw/met some of them and some are on the list so that they're in the know every time I have/am invited to a party/event or vice versa.
6) The ex-college 'friends'- now these used to be your friends back in school/college. But times have long past. Everyone's gone on to do their own thing. A Rahul's gone to the USA, there a Sana has got married and settled in the gulf, while a raj has gotten too deeply into drugs to care about the world. You know the chances of you hanging out with them again are pretty dim, if not non-existent altogether , but you can't altogether rule them out as friends but you can be assured they don't fit into the conventional realm of a 'friend' anymore.
7) The 'hometown' friends: Once you leave your hometown and move into a new city or work or whatever reasons, all the above -kind of friends and the rest kind of tend to melt into a single and separate category. These could be from college, school or wherever else but these are the friends you meet when you go back home. This is a nice set of friends. You look forward to going back home to meet them, to catch up on times lost and since you almost always never have enough time to spend with them, you are never bored/tired/sick of them.They evoke this nostalgia in you and keep you rooted with your not so-old-past.
Now that I've over-analysed all the type of friends according to some experiences ( well if you have no such demarcations and all are 'friends forever', congratulations, you can try for world peace next!)
Wouldn't it be nice to just have, if not 750 odd, 'friends' that are just that, despite the 'past', 'the present' or the future....like the f.r.i.e.n.d.s? ( and i'm incidentally 1/6th of it ,as it is ) Some people I could call randomly, enjoy a cup of tea with, go on a midnight ride/walk with, not just have fun with but be equally comfortable getting bored with and not have to worry about looking my best or turning my social on to spend some time bonding with and just hang out with them without hang ups. But importantly, be a friend with the person they are.
Any takers?
But today is one of those days when you spend an entire day within the confines of your home, having nothing to do, or not having enough inclination to do anything that you might have had to do...You don't go to meet anyone...Noone comes to meet you....You dont make or get any calls...A day perfectly capable of turning you into a decaying snob, capable of turning a rare-smoker , fume away to glory in solitude reflecting on life and its meaning...
and what was the result of this deep introspection-filled day?
Well for one, I thought about 'friendship' and what it means in today's high-pressure world when one slogs for over 12 hours a day to make a living and in a city away from home, where your 'friends' are your family....does friendship mean having people to go out for a drink with to de-stress after the above-mentioned week? Does friendship mean having people to party with ? or does friendship mean having multiple facebook albums full of "fun-looking' pictures of you and your friends...?
Now I don't know....I have friends... Many...or at least i'd like to call them friends here in this new city....But sometimes I wonder if we are friends of the most 'social' level....The kinds I mentioned in the first para of this post...You party with them, share drinks, smokes and hugs and much bonhomie with them, mainly over the weekend and they're an essential part of your social life....but beyond that? Do you know what kind of a person they are? What's their favourite ice-cream? What is their background story?
Could you call them at any point of the say, or week , even if it's not a weekend and just meet them whenever you felt like seeing them , seeing a friend or do you have to wait till the weekend till a social setting throws you in the same place as them?
I've found myself connecting with many people over the last couple of years during my stay in Hyderabad ( a new city) and if i could, i could really slot my 'friends' into these broad categories :
1) The social friends : The friends with whom I attend the common parties and events. Who are an essential part of my social life. These friends are to be found in the facebook albums. We look like we really are thick. Some of us are. But the others not so much. Probably met them the very same evening. Probably will never see some of them ever again.
2) The guy friends with a past : These are the guys you began to gel well with and connected on many levels, but more on a physical/romantic level and now thanks to a past between us that never culminated into a relationship or one that didnt work, but nonetheless got along too well to stop being friends altogether, we continue to be friends , albeit in a very " would-it-be-awkward-if-we-met-alone" way?
3) The work mates- Now these are specific to office. I meet them at Lunch/coffee at work , share a whole lot of work talk and also fun times with , but at the end of the day, we're really competitors, running in the same rat race and post work we mostly go our separate ways....To see each other at work again..
4) The flatmates: Now these are a special kind of friends. You dont know them from before yet you live with them, hopefully like family. They are the people who've seen you at your slobbiest best and know all your inside 'dirty' secrets, if any. And if your flatmate is also your colleague, you probably see them more than any other kind of friends. This kind of friendship can be extremely close, warm but strained at times , as a professional relationship that's expected to exist between flatmates, as it involves some domestic/financial implications, ( expense splits/ownership of responsibilities), and sometimes makes you want to have other friends.
5) The 'facebook' friends- No i don't meant all your friends on facebook. That includes even the other categories and family but I mean those random friends , you just have on your list, not sure why. We all have them. We know them, most of them. I have 750 odd 'friends' in my list as of now , ( includes the kinds that were busy adding you as a 'friend' on their phone while you were still introducing yourself!).I'm not sure how I know some of them, or when i last saw/met some of them and some are on the list so that they're in the know every time I have/am invited to a party/event or vice versa.
6) The ex-college 'friends'- now these used to be your friends back in school/college. But times have long past. Everyone's gone on to do their own thing. A Rahul's gone to the USA, there a Sana has got married and settled in the gulf, while a raj has gotten too deeply into drugs to care about the world. You know the chances of you hanging out with them again are pretty dim, if not non-existent altogether , but you can't altogether rule them out as friends but you can be assured they don't fit into the conventional realm of a 'friend' anymore.
7) The 'hometown' friends: Once you leave your hometown and move into a new city or work or whatever reasons, all the above -kind of friends and the rest kind of tend to melt into a single and separate category. These could be from college, school or wherever else but these are the friends you meet when you go back home. This is a nice set of friends. You look forward to going back home to meet them, to catch up on times lost and since you almost always never have enough time to spend with them, you are never bored/tired/sick of them.They evoke this nostalgia in you and keep you rooted with your not so-old-past.
Now that I've over-analysed all the type of friends according to some experiences ( well if you have no such demarcations and all are 'friends forever', congratulations, you can try for world peace next!)
Wouldn't it be nice to just have, if not 750 odd, 'friends' that are just that, despite the 'past', 'the present' or the future....like the f.r.i.e.n.d.s? ( and i'm incidentally 1/6th of it ,as it is ) Some people I could call randomly, enjoy a cup of tea with, go on a midnight ride/walk with, not just have fun with but be equally comfortable getting bored with and not have to worry about looking my best or turning my social on to spend some time bonding with and just hang out with them without hang ups. But importantly, be a friend with the person they are.
Any takers?
1 comment:
So true.. Makes me wonder who are my 4am friends... Loved the post...
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